ellie_mo

The New Office

2007-07-18T18:09:42Z

I have a new office now and I hate everything about it. I hate my new desk, I hate the layout - I hate the carpeting.

More than anything I hate the lighting. It's too bright in here; so this morning when I first arrived I kicked off my shoes and climbed ontop of the desk. I reached up, hoped to God I didn't fall like the klutz fool I am, and got to the business of unscrewing some of the lightbulbs.

It still stinks.

I have convinced myself that my recent blinding headaches are because of the unnatural lighting I'm forced to work in.

Does anyone read this?

Who cares, I need Advil.

Soon

2007-05-31T17:44:46Z

The last day of the month is always my most hectic here at work - I can't concentrate today. I keep getting these butterflies in my tummy and these flashes/images of my wedding day in my head.

I think I'm most anxious about the walk down the aisle - church has a 102 feet aisle...that's a long walk for a nervous bride.

I'm going to cry when I dance with my dad. I love him so much, there is no reason that a brat like me should be so blessed.

I'm babbling.

Balls...!

2007-03-16T12:39:19Z

So in an attempt to de-stress myself I've decided to start adding a couple things to my work outs that will help me with that. I've started stretching with a balance ball. You've seen them - they look like this:

The first time I used it, Matt had to leave the room. In so many words, you basically molest the ball. You roll on it, you lay across it, and stretch your back across it. It's a good thing he left the room because I would have died laughing if he had stayed.

Ok back to the ball. I love my ball. I wake up so relaxed and limber after using it. I now spend 20 minutes a night before bed with my ball. The key to balance on the ball is having focus and controlled breathing - while on the ball every other thought just sort of leaves you - its amazing.

That's my ball update. I hope you all enjoy it. :)

On flowers...

2007-03-15T12:44:41Z

Last night I had the most fun I've had re: wedding planning in a long time.

We met with the florist and I am just in love with my very non hetero florist. He seems to really listen to my wants and needs and is open to my ideas. If I make a suggestion he just runs with it and I love that about him.

I sound like a pretentious snob, don't I? I'm not, I'm really pretty down to earth...I just know that I'll never do anything on this scale again for myself in my lifetime. The next time I'm sitting with a floral designer will hopefully be when my wee ones are planning their weddings. And on that note, my mom came with me to the florist last night. And I enjoyed her company - if anything planning this wedding has brought me and my mom much closer.

She's adorable my mom - I caught her watching me talking to the florist and she had the biggest smile on her face - she was all smiles because I was all smiles. It's only just starting to occur to me how giving and unselfish she is.

And on a completely random note: Strawberry Banana is my best yogurt flavor. I've been eating Dannon this week. Hands down La Yogurt is much better. Their banana flavoring is much closer to true banana. F the Dannon.

On eloping...

2007-03-08T14:35:25Z

Confrontation with in-laws did not go well.

We decided at the last minute that Matt should address his folks on his own - we figured his mother would be less defensive and guarded if I wasn't present. Plus, this is first and foremost an issue with his folks. He has the primary relationship with them and he needs to set the boundaries re: our relationship with them.

Anyhow, it went badly. I believe it ended with Matt telling his father to "grow a sack". I'm a girl - this male genitalia talk is foreign to me - did I get that right? Or did he say "grow a set?". Whatever - you get the point.

I think the most disappointing part of the conversation was that his father really didn't help facilitate a good conversation. He didn't rally with his son when he knows that his wife is at fault here.

Her points: she should have been included in the planning of my shower. Now, I ask you this: Is it my mother's responsibility to call her and say, "you do this" or you do that?" or shouldn't his mother OFFER to help. My mother called her right after the New Year and told her where and when she was having it and asked her for a list of guests. At that point his mother could have volunteered to, for example, offer to do the flowers. Why now??? Why is this an issue now??? You don't volunteer and my mom sucks because of it?

And why are we, Matt and I, getting hammered about a shower we aren't planning????

But apparently we don't communicate well. We aren't communicating the wedding details well either, she hears them "second hand". Which is true - we aren't communicating. We stopped doing that after all the sighs, crank, eye rolls, and total lack of patience regarding the wedding. What kinda of an asshole would I be if I continually put myself in her abusive path??? I have way too much self respect for that.

If you want to know, ask. Make an effort and an effort will be shown back to you.

We should have eloped. Really, we should have.

It's been a while...

2007-03-07T02:19:34Z

...hasn't it? I guess I just need to vent tonight even if no on will see this...

I've been having a couple of really good days after a month long battle of highs and lows. I'm finding it nearly impossible to make a a decision and stick with it. My lack of decision making is making Matt nuts. Who can blame him? Add my mood swings and general highs and lows to the mix and what you have is a retarded mess of a girl who was once strong, smart, and capable.

I've been fighting back tears since about 7:30pm this evening. We came home, ran back out to run some quick errands. I noticed we had some phone messages and played them. There was an super sweet and charming message from my dad and another from Matt's mom. First time she's called us in months...a year. She usually just makes Matt's father call when if they need to communicate with us.

Her message had to do with my recent shower invitations that went out, apparently Aunt Martha didn't get hers and somehow this is my fault..or maybe my mom's fault - she mailed them. It's certainly not Matt's mother's fault because we didn't get the list of addresses for his side of the family from her. That's fucking sarcasm in case its not translating well.

How can there be so little joy? Such little happiness? Such disregard for my feelings?

One wedding - I get one wedding and I feel like I'm constantly getting beat up and beat on by a woman who clearly has some deep rooted issues.

And there go the start of my tears.

ellie_mo @ 2005-12-06T15:15:00

2005-12-06T20:20:41Z

Company holiday party is tonight. Who has a holiday party on a Tuesday night? Our headquarters is in NYC so I'd have to take a train into the city and it's just too cold for that. So I've opted not to go. And I feel really good about that. LOL Plus I was just in the city on Saturday night and it was so crowded. I don't think I've ever seen it quite that busy during the holidays before. Walking traffic on 5th Ave came to a complete stand still because it seems everyone had to slow down to take a picture of something. Move along looky-lou's.

That's all I've got for now.

Thanksgiving jitters

2005-11-23T14:03:33Z

Gearing up to go to the future in-laws for dinner tomorrow. Not overly excited about this. My future mother-in-law is a terror. Nothing out of the norm...she's like most other terrible mother-in-laws...has an opinion on everything and has a large stick wedged permanently up her ass.

Oh this should be loads of fun. *insert eye roll*